Yep. 9+ years in the same house. We were ready for a change. But everyone thought were were nuts! We had a gorgeous sprawling 5200 sf ranch on 2+ acres. Barn. Swimming pool. Mountain views. We remodeled it through our construction company…and our kitchen won first place in the Colorado Awards for Remodeling Excellence!
But here’s what I learned. And it took basically all of my 30s to figure this out.
Bigger house = More stress.
More stuff to do.
More money to spend.
Less time for what’s important.
It’s as simple as that. And of course, our plan all along was to fix up the house and sell it. But we became distracted with kids, work, life, responsibilities and expectations.
I remember in my younger years admiring and aspiring for such a home. But once I got there, I realized all the sacrifices that it meant. We didn’t have children yet when we moved there. And yes…maybe to some it is/was the perfect place to raise children. But it required a lot of upkeep and maintenance. And either we pay others to maintain it , or we do so ourselves.
When it came down to it, it wasn’t worth the extra stress and expenses for us. I’m certainly not saying that it was bad – but we weren’t even using and enjoying all the space. It was no longer right for US.
And no. Our kids aren’t heading off to college yet! They’re only 6 & 8. But we both want to be as present and happy and engaged as we can with these two little angels that have blessed our lives and once we realized how much of our time and energy were being depleted on the big home – it became time to make some changes.
So we began the ultimate act of practicing what I preach 🙂 MOVING!
And though it wasn’t planned until a few months ago, this aligns so much with my message here at Spa Time Living and throughout my Chaos Cleanse™ solutions :: It’s about tuning into what self-care means and living life in alignment with what keeps you healthy, happy and whole.
I started by asking for HELP.
My favorite professional organizer friend and colleague Angela Cody-Rouget with Major Mom gave me her supportive ear and advice when I told her we were downsizing: purge purge purge!
And honestly, I was eager to do so, but found myself blocked.
What the heck is my problem?! I knew what to do. I’m not even attached to stuff. To me, it’s always been about the people; the experiences; the memories. But for some reason, I just didn’t know where to begin.
So I allowed enough quiet space and downtime to reflect and tune into what I needed.
And I discovered my own internal wisdom. A small shift really. But it was exactly what I needed.
I shifted my focus to what I’m keeping and why. This question of why guides me daily.
Here’s how asking WHY helped me while moving.
- It helped me purge, purge, purge and focus on what matters, while releasing the rest.
- When it came to packing, asking why allowed me to start releasing all the things that I didn’t love or that didn’t serve a purpose. The stress and chaos just started to melt away!
- It helped helped me get laser focused on helping the kids feel comfortable and excited :: this focus inspired and energized me to get all the main areas of our home in order and comfortable in just SIX days – pretty much on my own other than calling in reinforcements to help me drag furniture around! 🙂
Again, it’s because I asked what’s important and WHY. I wanted to help the kids feel excited about our new home (it worked!!) and help ease the transition for us all.
So the tears of missing the old home are mostly gone. We’re doing what works best for our little family and we’re feeling much more in alignment with our values and visions. And yes – these photos were taken at new place on day 6 🙂
The week is booked full of ice-hockey (yikes, now even my daughter is playing so I’m the only one who doesn’t!), school projects, family time and serving the beautiful people of our respective businesses in a much more present and understanding way. We’re scheduling our vacations and experiences for the summer that bring us joy and rejuvenate our relationships and spirits. And we’re focused on being and doing vs. having these days.
Your turn.
What have you purged lately to make room for what matters in your life? I’d love to hear…so leave a comment/reply below!
Thanks for sharing this experience! I think it takes courage to face what all of that responsibility was doing to your life, and it’s so easy to find yourself 10 years later wondering why you didn’t do it sooner. Good for YOU! Great lesson.
Thanks Karen! I know I’m not alone here… but I wasn’t willing to wait another 10 years to make some changes! 🙂 xo
had the chance to try out some gieodos from Shari’s Berries (you can read about it in my review) and both Jay and I loved them. With a huge selection of delicious treats, they defitietly have
Awesome!! We have enjoyed our small townhouse awhile, too…people automatically assume we are not doing well financially. Nope! It’s intentional. We have absolute financial peace, are forced to be together more (less spread out) and have a lot more neighbors than those in a single-family home (and less house work)! It’s so good to see you sharing this. I hope others can learn from your experience. Congrats!! So proud of you!
Thanks so much for your support and sharing, Heidi! Yes…so many positives. xoxo
Marcos Fernandes, espero sitneramence que Walber seja sensato e honre os compromissos feitos com seus aliados polÃticos. Fico temerosa e preocupada, se ele não cumpre com aliados e partidários os acordos que fez durante a campanha, vai cumprir com o povo?
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Shari, it was soooo good to read how you feel you figured out your priorities and what’s truly important to you and your family. You asked what I’ve purged lately…my purge is of a different kind. As a very involved mom in my daughter’s school, I sometimes am asked to assist the PTA in many roles and I usually say yes. This latest time I was asked to run for PTA president and I really took some time to think about what was important to me and to my family. I came to the conclusion that as PTA president I would not have been able to experience the joy of walking onto the school playground to pick my daughter up everyday just as her mother…rather, I’d be seen through the eyes of everyone, as the person to speak to about issues in the school. With that role comes lots of stress. I realized that that potential role would have seriously taken away from my quality time with my daughters. Of course I absolutely will help the school in other ways, but I feel good about the decision I made and the “purging” of the things in life that take away from the quality time I spend with my children. Thank you for sharing your very honest experiences. It helped me reflect on my own.
Thanks so much Sharon. And thx for sharing. These are the choices and decisions we must make day in day out. And without a clear vision and priority check – we end up committing to all sorts of things because others ask us to or feed right into our egos in telling us how great we’d be at this or that. Of course it doesn’t surprise me at all that you were asked to take that role 🙂 but I’m SO very proud of you for your decision because you did check in and ask your own “why” and reflect on the full implications. xo
Downsizing is so freeing! It frees up cash, it frees up time and it frees up your mind! Way to go. We love living in a smaller home.
Way to go, Shari! I’m SO proud of you! I know this was a big undertaking but you did it with such grace and ease, and were so present and supportive of walking your children through saying goodbye to the old house. I’m in the midst of purging many things from one of my businesses – eliminating products, simplifying and downsizing in a way to make room for more profits with less stress on my end. And I don’t think it’s coincidental the flood of new orders and opportunities that pop up on the same days that I’m purging and throwing stuff out! Clearing energy makes space for new, more positive energy to flow in.
As always, thanks for being transparent and such a good role model for the rest of us!