Why we need to disconnect to reconnect

Why we need to disconnect to reconnect

tech2And I have an important story to share with you. You see, in the last 4 months since starting my PhD, I’ve been confronted with serious growing pains. Both personally and professionally.

You know the kind I’m talking about. The fear and self-doubt and insecurities that show up when you start something new: whether it be going back to school, a new job, a move, or even acceptance that your child is struggling and you don’t know what to do.

Prior to starting the program in June, I asked a few beautiful soul sisters to help me talk through how to keep a presence here at Spa Time Living while juggling my doctoral journey + my family + our construction company.

The question arose: “what if you do nothing here at Spa Time Living until you get a feel for how much time you actually have?”

{gasp} I couldn’t possibly!

Fast forward 4 months.

This is exactly what I did.


I couldn’t. I was maxed out with both school, home, work and yes – a little one who was struggling and refusing to go to school, amongst other things.

Now I feel it’s important to share why I resisted this “wait and see” approach, because it’s something we all do.

I started Spa Time Living because I felt called to serve other women who have big goals and dreams, but often find themselves stuck struggling to navigate the challenges of working, parenting and life…all while trying to cultivate meaning, health, passion and purpose. Ha!

I never have, and never will claim to “have arrived.” That’s not the point.

But I have always been the person that others feel comfortable and safe sharing with. As a highly sensitive empath, I truly do FEEL what you’re going through. And because of this connection, I’ve had so many people over the years walk away with big “aha’s” and shifts in mindset, simply from talking things through.

To be on the receiving end of this (being heard/felt/understood/inspired) is transformative. I’ve been blessed with a few of these golden lights in my life and have made sure to bring in other coaches and practitioners to support me throughout my journey. It takes a village. Cliche or not, it’s true.

Feeling felt and heard without judgement is rare.

Our daily choices and actions are often driven by worry, fear and people pleasing.

We forget to stop and create the space for reflection and processing.

We forget to honor our limitations and “failures” as opportunities. We forget to say “not now” or let’s wait and see.

Here’s where my confession comes in.

Because my time was so limited, when I first started Spa Time Living 2 years ago, I sought out guidance to create a flexible online presence. It seemed exciting and novel and a solution for both me and my future clients.

I was trying to follow all the formulas: “build your email list.” “create amazing freebie offers to build relationships and show your work.” “create an e-course”

Well, if you are in this world, you know: there is far too much information out there. Plenty of lousy info but also tons of really great information. And you couldn’t get through it all if you tried.

Which is where we set ourselves up for failure. We try to do a little “market research” and end up thinking we’re not ready yet. We need to learn how to do this first or try this or that. It’s a vicious cycle and sends you straight to overwhelm. Trust me, I’ve been there.

This is why I gasped and resisted “doing nothing” as I eased into my PhD. Because the formulas say that the way to build relationships and create an online business model is to send out weekly newsletters and keep creating and delivering amazing content.

This didn’t feel quite right. I felt like out of integrity to keep giving you more, when what we need most right now is to stop the incoming. To connect, not by tweets and quick texts, but on the phone. In person. To truly hear and be heard. Love and be loved. To be inspired and guided to take action. To learn from our obstacles and be stronger because of them. We can’t do this alone.

Wow. I just realized how long this is. Big hugs if you’re still with me!

I’m sure I’ll continue more later, but for now, just wanted you to know that I pulled the “online course.”

I’m not doing weekly newsletters (which I’m guessing you’ll thank me for!)

And I’ve decided that the evolution of Spa Time Living will be all about relationship. You. Me. Us.

After a couple of direct requests, I’m currently exploring the possibility of a “virtual” coaching/support group due to the challenges of making it consistently in person…. but we shall see…..

What do you think?

Leave reply below.

Sending you light & love & gratitude.

One Response to Why we need to disconnect to reconnect

  1. Shari, ahhhhhh. What a few days to think can do for one’s soul. I am proud of you for coming to some decision…any decision. I love that you were able to analyze what works for you and what you have been hearing from other overwhelmed moms and people. I have become a proponent of the Slow Movement and the Disconnect Movement (although I don’t even know if that movement actually really exists…I just like the idea of it.) So I completely understand your decision. I am reading Paris in Love right now about a woman, mother, wife, educator who is re-learning how to slow down and remembering how to pay attention to living. I think you have decided you would like that too. I try to surround myself with people, books, and experiences that help remind me to pay attention to the beauty in life – and you are one of those people. Thank you. And congratulations.

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