5 Reasons We Self-Sabotage Self-care

1.Excuses

Reasons or excuses are everywhere. We can blame the children, the spouse, the job, the weather or we can accept responsibility for the power of choice.Β 

  • It’s about being aware of what you are saying yes to and no to.
  • Make these choices mindfully to stay connected to your goals and visions.

2.Fear

Whether it’s fear of the unknown, fear of success, criticism or failure, we are so often blocked by fear.

Years ago I read Susan Jeffers book, “Feel the Fear and do it Anyway” and loved her message to tap into the Higher Self and learn to think “It’s all happening perfectly. Whatever happens in my life, I’ll handle it!”

Our self talk works on a subconscious level and has a tremendous impact on our lives.

What are you scared of? What is your negative self-talk telling you?

3.People-pleasing

As a first hand recovering (notice the “ing”) people pleaser I know all too well about trying to make everyone happy and not rock the boat. Especially as a mother.

  • We feel so much guilt for the decisions we do and don’t make and how these decisions, choices, sacrifices will affect our children.
  • We make choices to keep others happy and lose touch with what matters to us and what type of example we may or may not be setting.
  • We end up in survival and sacrifice mode and it’s not a good place to stay.
  • So if you can’t get past the people pleasing, just remember this: a little time for your self-care will benefit everyone around you…. so you’ll still be “pleasing” your people! πŸ˜‰

4.Time & Money

Money is a variable resource for us but we all have the same 168 hours in a week. And we all have SOME choice on how we spend this time.

  • As we get busier and busier with family activities, roles and responsibilities, we must find ways to leverage both our time and money.
  • Self-sacrifice is NOT the answer. Of course there will be times when we are strictly in survival mode for time and money, but then we MUST make our own way out by shifting our mindsets and learning strategies to address the incoming.
  • Taking care of ourselves gives us the energy we need to make the most of our time and fills us up in a way that ends up saving money because you’re not spending it on all that extra “stuff” to make you feel better! INVEST IN YOU!

5.Perfection Paralysis & Indecision

As humans, we are amazingly and perfectly imperfect and the emotional toll of trying to be otherwise can bring us to some pretty dark places.

  • I vote that we learn how to stay in the light.
  • Start to build awareness of why you think you need to or want to be perfect.
  • Maybe it’s time to ban the airbrushed fitness & glam magazines for a while (I had a dear friend use this strategy when she realized what it was doing to her self-talk).
  • And all the information, advertising and marketing messages out there that promise you’ll look better: just be aware that they’re tapping into our insecurities and TRYING to get us to compare.
  • As you let the influx of information into your life, be aware of your mindset and try to catch when you start comparing and judging.

I have some great tools to address these 5 areas and will be sharing them soon in my FREE resource: The Weekly RetreatΒ – sign up HERE so you don’t miss out!

And because authenticity and self-knowledge are your first steps, MAKE PROGRESS NOW by commenting below on your insights. What beliefs are limiting you and what’s getting in your way from feeling great and doing what you love?

Light & Love,

10 Responses to 5 Reasons We Self-Sabotage Self-care

  1. That is an awesome post. Because I teach about Self-care as a huge part in transforming your Wealth-Consciousness I walk my talk and schedule Self-Care in to my planner. This was not always the case because I exhibited most of the self-sabotage beliefs. Self-care pays off hundred-fold and you have addressed it beautifully! πŸ™‚

    Fatma XO

  2. This is always something I need a reminder on:

    “It’s about being aware of what you are saying yes to and no to.”

    Anytime I feel like there isn’t any time, I can lovingly remind myself that there is always enough time to do the things that are important to me as long as I stay conscious of my “yeses” and “nos”!

    Thanks Shari!

  3. Great roundup! These are all points that were relevant to me in the past. So glad that those times are now over. I think that we all need to remember that we are all here to be happy and do great things, and in order to do that we must first have self-love and self-care! πŸ˜‰ xxx

  4. I love your directness about how to move pass self-sabotage. Number three really speaks to me as I must add that the disappointment and guilty one has for theirselves if they don’t keep their people pleasing promise is brutal. Thank you for the awesome reminders.

  5. In the book 7 Habits of Highly Effective People there is a chapter on setting boundaries and learning to say no. It changed my life. Really. Good recommendation Shari!

  6. Fantastic post. It’s only recently I’ve become aware of just how much excuses and fear lie behind me not practicing self-care. The paradox that I learned is that the more I take care of myself the more I have to offer others and make a bigger difference. That was a huge motivation for me to start being truly selfish!

  7. Just what I needed to read today. Sometimes I need to follow my own advice and your post was a beautiful reminder that we can have the best “intentions” but we need to actually act on them. Every. Single. Day. Off to take my little “mini-ME-cation.”

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